Kamala Harris Says Words Near Border, Vague Platitudes End Immigration Crisis

words

EL PASO – Immigration guru Kamala Harris stepped foot in the vicinity of the border here and feels her work on this issue is done now. It only took her a few hours on the ground to effectively end the current immigration nightmare.

Harris delivered a series of vague platitudes, tired clichés, and untruths to reporters covering her border photo-op. “We’ve made extreme progress, extreme progress,” she told adoring reporters. “I’m here to use my words to talk about the root causes of this immigration issue. I don’t know what those root causes are, nor do I care. But ‘root causes’ is a nice talking point and a deflecting term that we feel very comfortable using.”

Kamala concluded her remarks saying, “You may be wondering just what progress we’ve made. I have no idea. But you’re all going to report that we’ve made a lot of progress. That’s all we care about.” With nobody interrupting her, Harris said, “I’m not finished.” Reporters looked at each other, confused.

“I’m speaking,” she continued. “We inherited a mess from the previous administration. There was virtually no one trying to illegally enter our country when we took office. In just 5 months, Joe and I have reversed that. I call that progress. So make it look like I care, that I’ve dealt with the situation, and don’t bother me with details. Remember……it’s about root causes! Root causes, those are my magic words. Now, get me the hell out of here.”

Aides to the VP say she read Border Management for Dummies on the plane to El Paso. That’s the extent of her expertise on the subject. The VP then boarded Air Force 2 to fly to California to mess up other things there.

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2 Thoughts to “Kamala Harris Says Words Near Border, Vague Platitudes End Immigration Crisis

  1. Tell me why in the world this woman hasn’t been elected President before now! She’s absolutely incredible! She can fix the border crisis with one visit. She can cure cancer with a cackling laugh, and she can solve the energy problem by wearing a mask. It’s amazing!

    1. E. Williams

      True. America was lucky she was available!

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