WASHINGTON – Kamala Harris is a voter integrity genius. She revealed today that having to photocopy an ID card is yet another hardship faced by those who live in rural areas. But she has the solution, and it starts with passing the president’s infrastructure boondoggle. Kinko’s and Office Max to the rescue!
Harris said that Republican efforts to clamp down on voter fraud, “…means you’re going to have to Xerox or photocopy your ID to send it in to prove who you are. Well, there are a whole lot of people, especially people who live in rural communities, who don’t – there’s no Kinko’s, there’s no Office Max near them.”
It’s a tragic scenario and it makes you wonder why anybody in their right mind would ever choose to live in a rural area. Rural Americans tend to be tougher, more industrious, and hardier than other Americans. However, many WISH they knew how to photocopy, but sadly lack the skills to do so. They tend to be less woke and that makes them weak in Kamala’s eyes.
“You can’t just expect someone to know how to use a copier,” the VP said. “It takes training. Usually, far more training than the average person is willing to invest. That’s why we’ve set aside billions in the president’s infrastructure bill to allow for the construction and operation of Kinko’s and Office Max locations in rural areas across the country.”
Kamala explained that while people in urban areas have been using copiers since the 1980’s, rural Americans are just now emerging from the Stone Age. “Once the stores are open, you might have to ride your horse a couple of days to get to the nearest location. But when you get there, someone will make the photocopy for you. That should make life a lot easier for those forced to live in the hinterlands.”
The Vice President then said she was very excited about the next infrastructure bill after this one. She said that bill would provide money for something called a “telephone” in rural areas. Also, something called “indoor plumbing,” though that one sounds far-fetched. Probably something AOC dreamed up.