NEW YORK – Late night television host Stephen Colbert shocked the entertainment world last night when he came out as a Nazi during his show. The Late Show comedian was in the middle of his monologue when he suddenly gave a Nazi salute.
Colbert later explained his actions. “Look, I’ve long felt that progressives were a superior people to conservatives. And, if I could, I’d round up all conservatives and republicans, put them on trains, and send them off to the ovens. My good friend Chelsea Handler has even told me she’d like to drive the train! The logistics to pull that off would be tough though.”
He also talked about a new book he’s working on. “It’s called Mein Cough, and it’s going to be a funny take on how wonderful I think the world would be without conservatives in it. I really think the world would be better off without them, don’t you?”
“I’d like to ask my friends in AntiFa (Anarchists Not Too Into First Amendment) to join me in my new political identity,” Colbert remarked. “They wouldn’t want me to admit this about them, but Hitler would have been impressed with their level of hate and violence.”
Late Show audience members weren’t sure what to make of Colbert’s public display, so they just clapped like the trained seals they are.
** For the satirically impaired, Stephen Colbert tried to make jokes about President Trump and Steve Bannon being Nazis. However, as evidenced by their behavior and language, progressives are closer to Nazism, with their intolerance of those with different views.