WASHINGTON – Denying they have a problem, leaders of the Democratic Party are at least responding to talk from some on Capitol Hill who insist it’s way past time for Democrats to invest in finding a cure for the arrogance that plagues their party. However, a reliable vaccine could take years, if not decades, to make it to market.
Secretary of Stupid, John Kerry, who many liken to being no smarter than a rock, said he doesn’t understand why money should be spent on such a vaccine. “In case you weren’t paying attention,” Kerry lectured, “I solved the Middle East peace problem this week between the Israelis and Palestinians. You’re lucky to have me, someone who served in Vietnam, in charge of this stuff.”
President Obama is another doubter about the plausibility of an arrogance vaccine. “I wouldn’t take it. I don’t need it. I just schooled Putin for meddling in our election and costing Hillary her due. However, being an expert in cybersecurity, I do find it impressive that the Russians were able to hack our systems in a way that only affected the Electoral College in Trump’s favor, and not the popular vote. They’re very crafty.”
Outgoing Senate psycho Harry Reid said, “Arrogance is a virtue, everybody knows that. A vaccine to prevent it would be unnecessary. Our arrogance is what defines us as a political party, and I’m very proud of the level of asininity our brand has been willing to go to maintain our arrogance.”
House Minority Crypt Keeper, Nancy Pelosi, said arrogance has no place in the Democratic Party. “Voters don’t appreciate the fact that we know better than they do. I hope they can come to realize that before the next election. I’ll be voting against any such vaccine.”