FLORIDA – The word police on the American left aren’t happy with the use of the word “monkey” after Florida governor hopeful Ron DeSantis used it in a political discussion this week. Though not a monkey, his opponent is an African-American man. Progressives have deemed the word racist if it’s used by a white person and there’s a black person within 500 miles.
Going forward, progressive word Nazi’s are demanding that all white people ask for, and receive, permission from them before using the word “monkey” in any setting. Leftists insist the policy is only meant to make especially white conservatives “slightly less intolerable.”
“Clearly, white people can’t be trusted to know when you can and can’t use the word ‘monkey,'” white Antifa member Trey Simpkins explained. “Like, it’s OK if you’re in a zoo, but only if there aren’t any people of color in the rest of the park.” Ironically, Trey’s brother Matt is a grease monkey at a local auto body shop.
“White people should know better,” said Jestine Corker, a black lesbian who attends Berkeley. “Why is it only progressives can hear white folk dog whistles?!” she asked, exasperated. “In fact, why do white people talk at all? They so stupid!”
White Americans will now have to ask a black person if they can use the m-word before they use it publicly. Yeah, and monkey’s might fly out of my butt.