CHICAGO – Diarrhea of the mouth is kind of a long diagnosis, but so is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s name. So long and annoying that many have started referring to her as simply “AOC.” Now, the Board of Trustees at the American Medical Association have honored the freshman socialist politician with her own affliction.
In a vote of 15-6, the board approved adding the diagnosis of AOC in medical textbooks and journals to apply to any patient exhibiting symptoms of “diarrhea of the mouth.” This is an irritating condition, and one in which many physicians feel uncomfortable informing patients who’ve tested positive for diarrhea of the mouth.
“We on the board feel that Ms. Cortez best exemplifies someone who spews shit that she knows nothing about, pretty much anytime she opens her mouth,” one member told us. “Apparently, in college, she learned just enough to be dangerous. So, we felt the condition matched her personality well.”
AOC was blown away by the news. “That’s, like, so awesome! I’m just 29 and already have a medical condition named after me?! I really am the ‘It’ girl right now. The country is so lucky to have someone like me who never knows when to shut up. I don’t get the diarrhea reference, but there are a million other things I don’t get either.”
Finally, just like diarrhea, Cortez’s stupidity usually comes in waves. Medical coders and med students will soon be using the new AOC code for those who ramble on, oblivious to facts or reality.