PORTLAND – While the presidential election is still not certified, President Trump faces an uphill fight to prove voter fraud charges. For Democrats, they’re already living in a world with Joe Biden in charge. But life will not be all rainbows and unicorns for those on the left.
Doctors nationwide are already reporting a spike in Trump Withdrawal Symptoms (TWS). TWS is a condition found in those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), for which there is no cure.
Dr. Paul Bennett, who has a practice in Portland, said, “I’m already seeing members of Antifa, Black Lives Matter, and even members of the media who are trying to come to terms with possibly losing their boogey man. The world is a weird place for them right now. They say they’re happy about things, but it’s really hard to rage when you’re happy. Poor bastards.”
Some of the symptoms of TWS include: difficulty concentrating on gaming now that you’re not meeting your buddies downtown each night to destroy the town, trouble realizing you’ll soon be blaming Joe Biden for all your problems, and being paralyzed by the thought of having to grow up.
David Looney is a member of the Seattle chapter of Antifa. “I don’t feel like myself lately. I haven’t burned down a building or cold-cocked a defenseless elderly person for 10 days now. I wake up from nightmares, sweating. It’s not until my mom reads me a story about the Bad Orange Man that I can fall asleep again.”
Psychologists everywhere are reporting huge numbers of calls from those suffering with early-onset TWS. One doctor from Philly remarked, “I haven’t seen numbers spike so high so fast since those fraudulent votes magically appeared in the middle of the night for Joe Biden! It defies logic.”
The doc continued, “It’s going to be a tough road for many of them, but these people are mad at everything. They’ll find something else to bitch about, and they’ll use that as an excuse to riot and loot. So, kind of a happy ending.”