UTAH – Beta-male Senator Mitt Romney has been busted for using a fake Twitter account to advance his anti-Trump efforts on social media. Is Romney a coward for doing this? Yes. Does Romney crave attention from the same establishment media that destroyed his presidential run in 2012? Yes.
But Romney says the real reason is more innocent. “I just wanted a really, really cool nickname. Like ‘Beto,’ he explained. “I’m a beta-male, just like Beto, and being Pierre Delecto gives me the courage to say things online that I’m not man enough to say in the regular media.”
“Pierre allows me the ability to be a Republican Le douchebag, but from the shadows. I’m a massive, self-righteous tool because of my jealousy of the president, but I don’t want to ruin the Romney brand in the political world,” Mittens added.
Romney thought having the first name Willard would be all the street cred he would ever need. Sadly, though, he’s never been considered cool. “All the kids like Beto. I thought Pierre would do the same for me.” Willard, you were mistaken.