Mueller Report To Be Released As Picture Book For Democrats

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WASHINGTON – Democrats are having a hard time understanding what “No Collusion” and “No Obstruction” means. So to help them more easily understand Robert Mueller’s report and conclusions, Attorney General William Barr will release a version of Mueller’s findings in a picture book format.

“I hope with the addition of illustrative pictures, the explanation of no collusion and no obstruction on the part of the president will be easier for them to comprehend,” Barr told reporters after a congressional hearing today. “Because, so far, they’re just not getting it.”

“We’re going to incorporate some pop-up book features to make it feel more interactive and educational for them,” the Attorney General continued. “Some of these people, like Representatives Nadler, Schiff, Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson-Lee, apparently need to have the material dumbed down in order to absorb the report’s conclusions.”

A regular, redacted version of the Mueller Report will be released to the public in the near future. The picture book edition is specifically for those in the Resistance.

Barr said chapters will be color coded to help them navigate through the report. Also, cute animal characters will point to important sentences throughout, and the words “No Collusion” and “No Obstruction” will appear in bold type and in a larger font.

The picture book edition is being released to Democrats under the working title Goodnight, Mueller.

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3 Thoughts to “Mueller Report To Be Released As Picture Book For Democrats

  1. You win! The Democrat Leaders are not evil, they are snotty nosed brats. They are stunted and will never grow wiser, just older. We will have to support them as they strangle the Constitution and grow ever richer in office.

    1. E. Williams

      Very sad, but true, Lynn.

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