WASHINGTON – Going without food for long periods of time, known as a hunger strike, is a drastic way to gain attention for your cause. But House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is adding a new wrinkle to the tactic.
Pelosi, whose brain is comprised of 65% Botox, 25% water, and 10% useless information, has vowed to give up Botox treatments until President Trump is impeached. The move is a risky one since doctors have advised her that quitting the injections cold turkey could result in “huge facial fissures,” along with scaring the public.
“Look, this is the last thing I want to give up,” Pelosi stated, “But this president has got to go. The latest controversies, along with the ‘2-scoops of ice cream’ outrage, prove that this president is out of control. Unfortunately, to show how strongly I feel about this issue, I have to take this extreme measure to get the public’s attention.”
“NO ONE – whose last name is not Clinton – is above the law,” Nancy added. She’s hoping that a worsening Botox deficiency will start to repulse Americans even more that they already are of her, and the masses will demand Trump’s removal from office to get her to end her strike.
Due to a surplus in inventory that a Pelosi strike will create, pharmaceutical companies that manufacture Botox have taken a major hit in the stock market in the wake of the news.