Nancy Pelosi Offers Human Sacrifices To Appease Impeachment Gods

WASHINGTON – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said today she has been praying for President Trump. Yesterday, the president walked out of a scheduled meeting on infrastructure with Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer after Nan accused him of covering up……….something.

To appear more pious than everyone else, she told reporters that she’s praying for the president’s mental well being and revealed her conversation with the deities she worships.

“I prayed to Saint Bill, the patron saint of Impeachments, to help us carry out our desires to destroy Donald Trump. I even offered human sacrifices in the form of late-term aborted babies to show the gods the sincerity of my prayers,” Pelosi told reporters.

The prayer candles Pelosi uses in all of her impeachment rituals.

Planned Parenthood said they stood behind the Speaker’s intentions, agreeing to provide her with all the murdered babies and/or body parts it would take to appease the gods and remove Trump from office.

While Nancy is appealing to the dark lords the Democratic Party normally worships, she actually faces a more immediate challenge that even the gods may not be able to help her with. She must first appease the Goddess AOC, an imbecile of a deity that really oversees the direction of her party.

Goddess AOC has an insatiable appetite for impeaching President Trump, as long as it doesn’t adversely affect the environment. Good luck with all that, Nancy.


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