NASCAR Driver Bubba Wallace Insists Snow Cone Cups In Lounge Are KKK Hoods

Bubba

TALLADEGA – The controversy of the “noose” in the garage of NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace continues. Even as 15 FBI agents came to the conclusion that the alleged noose was simply a garage door pull, Wallace insists he is the target of a crime.

Bubba appeared on Don Lemon’s show on CNN last night and, since nobody watched it, here is a summary of Wallace’s version of recent events.

Lemon: This is unacceptable in our country. Do we know yet if President Trump personally placed the rope in your team’s garage just to intimidate you? That would be my immediate conclusion. 

Wallace: I can’t confirm that, Don. But who puts a rope on a garage door to lower it? That’s crazy. It was a noose, no doubt in my mind.

Lemon: It was a powerful scene when other NASCAR drivers pushed and escorted your car to the starting line the other day. Were you surprised that they believed the BS so quickly and completely?

Wallace: A little bit. But the haters haven’t stopped. Yesterday, after a practice run, I went into our lounge to cool off. Nobody else was around, but someone had stacked up a bunch of KKK hoods next to the snow cone machine.

Lemon: Oh my God! Our 8 viewers can see the picture you’re talking about right now. They certainly look like Klan hoods to me. Do you think Donald Trump put those there too? 

Wallace: He might have. The FBI is telling my crew that they’re just snow cone cups, but they’re still investigating it as a possible snack crime. I immediately called the Black Lives Matter hotline after I saw them.

Lemon: They look kind of small for hoods, but it’s hard to tell the scale of them on our screens. This has got to stop. Thank you, Bubba Wallace. Stay strong, brother. And tell Jussie I said ‘Hey.'”

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