Nation Mourns Jeff Flake’s ‘No To 2020 Prez Run’ Decision


ARIZONA – An already divided country is reeling after former senator Jeff Flake officially announced today that he will not be running for president in 2020. Flake announced his decision as it was revealed he has taken a job with CBS News.

The new position will mean Jeff will add nothing of value to the network’s offerings, which will be a continuation of his career in Congress. But how does the country move forward after such a shocking development?

Millions of Americans live by the creed of WWJD (What would Jeff do?) and now feel uncertain about where we as a country go from here.

Sadly, these Flake 2020 campaign shirts are now only collector’s items.

“I was planning on watching Flake challenge Trump in 2020, get less than 1% in the primaries, drop out of the race, and THEN go to work for a liberal media outlet slamming his former party,” an Arizona republican voter said. “I feel cheated of that experience. Now what?”

That voter’s frustration is being felt by many in other states as well. Fred Nolan, a libertarian from Billings, Montana, admitted, “I’ve never cared a rat’s ass about what Jeff Flake thought about anything, but I was looking forward to seeing him crash and burn in 2020. I wonder if he’s really thought this through?”

Flake will be a contributor to a series at CBS called Common Ground, a show featuring opposing groups who come together to bash conservatives on a regular basis.


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3 Thoughts to “Nation Mourns Jeff Flake’s ‘No To 2020 Prez Run’ Decision


  2. N. Williams

    We don’t need anymore “FLAKES” in the country—we have enough of them in the East and Northwest!

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