Nation Understands Border Issue Better After Beto Dental Cleaning


EL PASO – Robert “Beto” O’Rourke blessed the country today by having his dental hygienist explain the complex border situation during a dental appointment. He live-streamed his appointment on Instagram. Liberals were blown away by the experience.

23-year old Summer Baxter said, “I’ve heard all the oral arguments from both sides about the border security and immigration issues. Not like this, though. You know, from a dentist chair. You can bet I’m going to be finding out what my dental hygienist thinks the solution to climate change is at my next appointment. Thank you for your bravery, Beto!”

O’Rourke’s hygienist, Diana, explained her experiences related to immigration and living in a border town, all while inspecting Beto’s chompers:

“I feel for those people trying to cross illegally. Most of those people trying to get into our country are just coming here for some quality dental care. It’s sad. A cousin of mine, Enamel Imenez, is currently stuck on the other side of the border. He and countless other migrants have raging cases of gingivitis, and it kills me to not be able to give them the care they need.”

Not everyone was impressed as Beto and Diana tackled heavy subjects like catch & release and rinse & spit.

Periodically, Diana would comment on Beto’s teeth. “I see some plaque we’re gonna need to deport, mister! And, by the way, if we need to do any fillings or anything today, our dentist only uses local anesthesia – meaning only anesthesia that’s been made in El Paso.”

It’s unclear whether or not Beto’s dental stunt has impacted any views on border security in Washington. However, he has no plans to stop educating the country on the important issues of the day.

Beto next plans to live-stream his upcoming prostate exam appointment, during which he’ll get his doctor’s views on the perils of fracking.


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