OREGON – Nike, Inc., the American shoe giant, has pulled their 4th of July, flag-themed sneakers because the company is mad that Betsy Ross didn’t include their iconic “swoosh” on her original flag design. Nike personality Colin Kaepernick recently pointed out the diss by Ross to company officials.
“Betsy Ross should have had the foresight to know Nike would dominate the shoe market in the future, should have known their logo would be a swoosh, and should have included the symbol somewhere on her first American flag,” Kaepernick explained.
In addition, Colin said Betsy Ross should have anticipated just how woke Nike would be in the 21st century, as well as how badly those on the American Left would have lost their collective minds by the year 2019.
In her defense, Ms. Ross, in the patriotic early days of the nation, couldn’t possibly have foreseen how political correctness would have rotted the brains of half the population of today’s America.
Historically speaking, Betsy Ross is said to have once told President James Monroe that she found the word “swoosh” to be “made-up poppycock…and generally only used by simpletons and nincompoops.”