PINGPONG, N KOREA – Try as they might, North Korea hasn’t had much luck with their rocket launches lately. They’d like to impress their enemies by showing off the nation’s military might, but tests have so far been less than intimidating.
The country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, is proud to now show off his newest and best rocket. Called the “Hot Rocket 1970,” the structure towers four stories high. Kim says the name comes from the fact that parts of the rocket get very hot in the sun.
“Our prototype had a metal slide, but it burned the hands and butts of our workers. We’ve replaced the metal with a durable, heavy plastic slide like you might find on Western playgrounds,” Kim said. “Also, we used to have a straight slide, with maybe a few small waves in it. This new design features an intricate twisting slide. Very cutting edge.”
Jong-un is very proud of the new design because, while the tip can still be fitted to carry a nuclear warhead, the appearance is somewhat playful. “Our scientists and engineers have great fun using the slide to come down once they’ve completed their work inside. They even smile and laugh while sliding down, if I let them.”
The new design is very aerodynamic as well, giving Kim hope that this one might even make it out of the peninsula. After liftoff, the rest of the structure will stay behind and Kim said he might even let kids play on the equipment.
President Trump has been warning Kim not to carry out any more tests of this type of military equipment but, after seeing this latest design, he said, “Oh, I’ll let Kim have his fun with this one.”