WASHINGTON – Thousands of Democrats around the country have been injured when their views and selective outrage made a sudden u-turn too fast in their support for fired FBI director James Comey. They had previously despised the man for costing Hillary Clinton the presidency. Today, suddenly, James Comey is their Jesus.
Many of those injured suffered whiplash injuries from changing their support for Comey so suddenly. Normally, people will slow down to make a u-turn, but Democrats didn’t bother to brake even a little before changing course.
One doctor who has treated many Democrats in the wake of Comey’s firing, explained, “The common sense muscles in most Democrats are seldom used. So, when you hate somebody one day and then love them the next, it can cause a variety of injuries.”
The doctor couldn’t give out details due to privacy laws, but said Hollywood celebrities and liberal TV pundits were in the most pain. “Over-the-top outrage, hypocrititis, tremendous butthurt, and ruptured tendons from jumping to conclusions too quickly are all symptoms of the instantaneous flip-flopping presented by patients.”
The best prescription for the u-turn injuries is to learn to stand on principle on most issues. However, this doesn’t come naturally for Democrats like it does for Republicans. Compounding the danger for Democrats, is their inability to remember that things they say are often recorded, and can be played back at a later date.
This realization would prevent many of them from changing their positions so abruptly, and would cut down on the number of them who end up looking like jackasses.