NYT Flirts With Writing Factual Story, Won’t Commit Just Yet


NEW YORK – The New York Times, long known as “the newspaper of record (players)” in this country, is toying with the idea of using facts in their articles. The bold move is under review by upper management at press time.

“Staff has been confused about this possible new approach, so we’ve brought in so-called journalistic experts to try to explain what changes this would entail,” a Times spokesman said. “I don’t know if it’ll take or not. It’s pretty drastic.”

The paper has received significant backlash over its recent made-up story of sexual abuse by Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Senior editors were surprised when they were fact-checked and caught, once again, making things up to attack a political opponent.

Top brass at the Times have expressed dismay over the possibility of having to follow journalistic standards. Editor J. Kahn chided, “It’s unfair. Our writers are expected to start writing the truth…just like that? After all these years? Come on.”

An anonymous journalism expert commented after a training session with NYT writers. “They didn’t even know what credible sources were. I had to spell ‘CORROBORATE’ on the board because none of them understood what it meant. How have these people stayed in business for this long? It’s crazy!”

Should truthful reporting prove too problematic for the NYT, management says the paper will consider either adding the word “Satire” to the company’s name, or changing the name to The New York Tries. 


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