Pantsuit Industry Nervous About Prospects of Hillary Loss

BANGLADESH – Speaking through an interpreter, the owner of a textile factory in this South Asian country spoke to us about the nervousness those in the third-world, pantsuit sweatshop industry are feeling should Hillary Clinton lose her bid for the US presidency this November.

“It would be devastating for our workers. Nobody else wears that crap. If she wins, and beats Mr. Trump, we’re golden for at least the next four years. But, God forbid she should lose, the ripples throughout our pantsuit industry would be far-reaching.”


“It’s true that her pantsuits usually bear the Armani or other high fashion label, and most cost between $3000-$12,000 at retail, but the fabrics, the dyes that create all those hideous colors, those things are produced on the backs of poor workers in this part of the world.

I’ve spoken with other pantsuit manufacturer’s, and they’re all freaking out. A Hillary loss would ruin the industry. Who else is going to buy that crap? Would you be caught dead in one of those fashion disasters? Well, OK, I see your point. I guess if I had no fashion sense, and had cankles her size, I wouldn’t want those things sticking out from under a dress either.”

The ‘plus-size cankle’ industry continues to be a niche market within the fashion world, but has been largely supported by Mrs. Clinton’s pantsuit appetite for decades.


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