Pelosi Slams ‘Morbidly Obese’ Trump, Praises ‘Former Victoria’s Secret Model’ Stacey Abrams

morbidly obese

WASHINGTON – It’s common knowledge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi lives in her own little world. So it was no surprise this week when she slammed President Trump for being ‘morbidly obese.’ She then went on to praise the imaginary governor of Georgia, Stacey Abrams, for being the picture of good health.

Abrams is being considered as a VP pick for Democrat Joe Biden. Pelosi thinks Abrams would be a fine choice for the position. “In total contrast to the president, Ms. Abrams is the epitome of fitness and good health. And I didn’t know this, but my aides tell me she’s a former Victoria’s Secret model. That’s impressive.”

According to Biden, Abrams stays fit by performing 1 1/2 crunches a day, and yelling in her mirror how racist white people are for a minimum of 10 hours every day. Pelosi continued her admiration of Stacey.

“I wish I looked like her. Between the gap in her teeth, her trim build, and her pretend governorship, she’s the total package. Plus, she brings in the female black vote for us – and, after all, that’s what matters most.”

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