Pelosi Tears Up Bingo Cards After Failing To Win At SOTU

WASHINGTON – Speaker Nancy Pelosi is having a bad year. Everything she touches turns to crap and she can’t seem to catch a break. Tonight, she was seen tearing up her bingo cards behind the president. Whether it’s the Trump impeachment trial, Bingo, the Iowa Caucus fiasco, or a triumphant State of the Union (SOTU) speech, she keeps ending up on the losing side.

President Trump had handed the speaker some bingo cards just before starting his State of the Union speech Tuesday night. The cards were to keep Nancy occupied during the speech. Apparently, the Democratic “Ladies In White” group were drawing numbers and mouthing the information to Pelosi as the president delivered his remarks.

SOTU

Judging by her expressions, Nancy became increasingly agitated at her failure to win even one game of bingo. Part of the problem was that her colleagues kept stopping to re-read the rules of the game. Her frustrations came to a head when she tore up her game cards.

“What does a bitch have to do to get a G-58, or a N-36? I wanted so bad to be able to yell ‘Bingo!’ during the president’s speech, but I wasn’t getting anything I could use,” a dejected Nancy told reporters as she left the chamber. “Why can’t I win at anything?!”

She wasn’t the only Democrat getting frustrated about not winning. Rashida Tlaib walked out during the speech after multiple failed attempts to bingo. And AOC didn’t even bother to show up for the event, saying, “I never can remember the rules of bingo. It’s harder than chess, and very frustrating.”

President Trump said after his upbeat speech that he had also given Pelosi a pack of crayons she could doodle with, but wasn’t sure if she ever used them. “People thought I’d given her a copy of my SOTU,” he said. “But Nancy doesn’t read. Obamacare, my remarks, the Constitution….doesn’t matter. She’s better suited for bingo.”

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