WASHINGTON – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is adamant that the Trump administration has plunged the country into a ‘Consticollusional crisis’ due to the findings of the Mueller Report. In their delusional and subpoena-happy state, Democrats have actually put the U.S. in a Constitutional crisis, but that’s a story for another day.
Part of the reason for the current Consticollusional crisis we find ourselves in at the moment is that Democrats insist on finding collusion where there is no collusion to be found. The other part is because Pelosi botches half her words when she speaks publicly, so she frequently creates words that are new to the English language.
“I’ve got so much Botox and hate coursing through my veins that I have a hard time stringing coherent words together,” Nancy explained. “However, Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff and I can practically smell the collusion….can’t you smell it?…..so it must be there. We owe it to the American people to find it. Obviously, the president is hiding it somewhere.”
Recent x-rays performed by the congressional doctor showed that every Democrat in Congress did indeed have collusion on the brain. “It was widespread,” the doctor noted. “When the brain believes something so deeply, no matter how misguided it may be, it will keep searching for proof of it no matter how stupid it makes the person look.”
Pelosi went on to complain that she is in the midst of a constipational crisis herself and rushed off to the ladies room, ending the interview.