NEW YORK – At Planned Parenthood (PP) headquarters, employees are furious over President Trump’s plans to affect their future business. Trump is considering ending the birthright citizenship provision of the 14th amendment in our Constitution.
The move is an attempt to stop the practice of giving babies born to non-citizens (illegals) legal citizenship, even though their parents are not Americans. The amendment was written at the time to award citizenship to slaves.
“Noooooo!!!!!!!” cried baby dismemberment expert, Bianca Lennox. “I’ve been aborting babies here for years. And killing babies of undocumented migrants is a significant part of our business model. We won’t stand for this. I hate Trump!”
Suzanne Walker, a fundraiser for PP, said, “If you look at the people in the current migrant caravan heading this way, you know there are a good number of those women who have one in the oven. Some don’t even know it yet. That’s future business for us!”
Retired PP demon, Cecile Richards, was incensed at the president’s plan. “He can’t just use his pen and phone and sign an executive order deciding birthright rules. Only Obama can do that.”
Richards also stated that, while you need a magnifying glass to find it, between the lines, the 14th amendment was written to include anchor babies. “It’s in there,” Cecile said, “Even if YOU don’t see it.”