Reporters Shout ‘President Brandon? President Brandon?!’ As He Turns Back On Questions

President Brandon

WASHINGTON – No matter the topic, the American president doesn’t care about your questions. After every speech, he tucks his tail, turns his back on reporters, and leaves the room. The prez has failed at everything he touches, except at being a coward. There, he excels.

Since stupid reporters believe chants at sporting events of “F*** Joe Biden!” are really chants of “Let’s Go, Brandon!” they’ll keep the lie going. So, after his most recent speech following a devastating jobs report, reporters continued the lie.

As Biden said ‘thank you’ and turned his back, CNN’s Jim Acosta and others shouted, “President Brandon…do you think…President Brandon??!” Shouts continued for 30 seconds, in hopes that the coward might return. No such luck.

Biden has started answering to ‘President Brandon’ to some in his inner circle. Rumors have it that First Lady is considering legally changing her name to Jill Brandon. It seems so silly, but the administration feels it’s easier than dealing with the fact that everyone knows they suck at running things.

Meanwhile, ‘F*** Joe Biden’ continues to dominate the charts, and is the most popular download on Spotify. Many universities are considering making the song their new school fight song. In fact, many in Florida think the tune should be the new national anthem.

Lyrically, it’s easy for crowds to remember, there’s no high notes to hit, and it’s easy to sway to. Instead of a hand over the heart, fans would place one hand over their crotch during the singing.

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