Republicans Complete Trade With Progressives, Kanye for Joe Scarborough, Others

LOS ANGELES – On the eve of the 2018 NFL Draft, the nation’s Republican base has inked a deal with progressives that has rapper Kanye West going to the Right. In the trade, the Left acquires MSNBC Beavis-look-a-like Joe Scarborough, CNN’s Anna Navarro, and three Never-Trumpers to be named later.

Kanye filed for free (thinking) agency earlier this week when he tweeted comments supporting President Donald Trump. The rapper even posted pics of his autographed, red MAGA hat – an object whose sight affects those on the Left the same way a crucifix affects vampires.

The official sponsor of the Kanye trade.

Republicans have long sought to officially unload Scarborough and Navarro, and those rumored to be named later in the trade include Ohio governor John Kasich (the descendant of a mailman), former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and outgoing Arizona senator Jeff Flake.

Republican GM Donald Trump praised the deal, saying, “Picking up Kanye ups our street cred with the nation’s youth. And what we gave up to get him was like us taking out the trash. Good riddance.”

Fans on the progressive side were triggered by the trade, angry with Kanye for even daring to wander off their plantation. Many have lashed out at the rapper, unleashing their anger at the deal using the harshest means available to them – by unfollowing West on social media. It helps them sleep better at night.


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