Roseanne Lands Role In Next Planet of the Apes Reboot

LOS ANGELES – Fired sitcom actress Roseanne Barr already has an upcoming gig. The comedian had her show on ABC cancelled after going on an Ambien-fueled Twitter rant in which she referred to Obama sidekick Valerie Jarrett as the potential offspring of a Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes coupling.

However, the firing of Roseanne has freed her up to accept new roles, including a lead character in the next installment of the Planet of the Apes saga. The next film, which will start pre-production in late 2018, is tentatively titled Planet of the Progressive Apes: Faux Outrage Unleashed. In this next installment, progressive apes have taken over academia, the media and pop culture, and they live a miserable existence as they pretend to be outraged by everything they don’t like.

Roseanne will play Charlton Heston’s great-granddaughter, and is a small-town sheriff who uses her sense of humor to drive the apes mad. The progressive apes are continually butthurt, and nearly all suffer from some sort of derangement syndrome.

Rumor has it that Valerie Jarrett may make a cameo appearance in this latest installment, but that hasn’t been confirmed as of this writing.



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