Scientists Isolate Impeachment Gene In Democrats For First Time


AUSTIN – Geneticists working at the University of Texas have finally located the impeachment gene that is carried by all Democrats. The breakthrough findings may one day help lead to a cure for what makes impeachment-obsessed Democrats so bat-shit crazy.

Dr. Greg Zinter, a researcher at UT’s BioScience Dpt., explained the significance of the new discovery. “We’ve wondered what causes Democrats to throw logic, common sense, and facts out the window when they get the urge to impeach. Now, we have a better idea.

It’s not that they’re necessarily brain dead zombies with a one-track mind bent on impeachment, though many of their leaders are, but Democrats certainly have a predisposition toward impeachment that President Trump has triggered.”

Another example of how genes differ in Democrats.

The impeachment gene, nicknamed Schiffelosi-45, has also been isolated in some Republicans, but only in those found to be Republican in name only. When the urge to impeach is activated, there is a Schiff(t) away from reason and an overwhelming desire to just make up crap.

Dr. Zinter added that those with the impeachment gene tend to project, lie, create elaborate hoaxes, crave power at all costs, and are highly susceptible to being drawn to the Dark Side – also known as the Deep State. It’s really sad.

Scientists hope Democrats will use the new discovery for good, instead of their usual evil.


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