So Far, Biden’s ‘Sanction Grenades’ Are Failing To Stop Putin’s Invasion Of Ukraine


WASHINGTON – Joe Biden believes the sanction is mightier than the sword. He believes a well-placed sanction is deadlier than any military weapon. Russia doesn’t know who they’re tangling with in Biden, do they? The US president urged the world to give his ‘sanction grenades’ a “month or so” to maybe work.

Biden reminded the poor citizens of Ukraine today that he’s a tough guy. And he’s not afraid to sanction the hell out of Russia. “I will unleash my entire arsenal of sanctions on Putin and his military, at a time of my choosing. Trust me, he won’t see them coming. I’ve got sanction grenades, surface-to-air sanctions, anti-tank sanctions, Apache, Black Hawk, and Chinook sanctions. Man, I sound like Bubba from Forrest Gump talking about shrimp.”

Ukrainians on the ground were grateful for Biden’s tough stance. “Biden has begun his ‘sanction and awe’ campaign,” said a local man running for his life. “I wouldn’t want to be in Putin’s shoes right now! I only hope he doesn’t run out of sanctions! Bye!”

Kamala Harris said she hopes Putin backs down before Biden has to drop a MOAS (Mother of All Sanctions) on him. She also said intelligence briefings she’s received indicate some Russian troops have dropped their weapons on the battlefield and retreated, rather than face Biden’s sanctions.

Walk tall and carry a big sanction…..the Biden motto.


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One Thought to “So Far, Biden’s ‘Sanction Grenades’ Are Failing To Stop Putin’s Invasion Of Ukraine

  1. It’s because Joe forgot to say “Pretty Please with borscht on it”.

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