DURHAM – Hatred and fear of statues has reached a fever pitch among liberal activists these days. Psychiatrists are seeing skyrocketing numbers in cases of statueism and statuephobia, in addition to the basic mental illness of liberalism, especially in poorly educated, college millennials.
Statueism is defined as “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against an inanimate sculpture, based on the fact that it hurts one’s feelings.” Statuephobia is defined as “an extreme or irrational fear of statues, especially those of historical figures.”
Not understanding how to deal with their intolerance and fear of statues, many on the American left set out to destroy the monuments, either by tearing them down or defacing them with red paint. The worst of the sick statuephobics then kick and spit on the destroyed sculpture.
Sandy McClellan, a college student in Baltimore, said she has friends who are so statuephobic that they’ll walk a different route to class so they don’t have to get anywhere near the scary monuments.
Some on the left are even afraid that statues of Confederate figures may come to life at any moment, and lead them away to a life of slavery. Members of the left-wing, radical group ANTIFA (Activists Not Too Into First Amendment) feel that Confederate statues are out to get them, so they must launch preemptive attacks on the statues first.
Sadly, psychiatrists seem to agree that most statuephobics are beyond all medical help.