Stormy Daniels Vows to Dance Under Oath Before Congress


WASHINGTON – America’s sweetheartwhore, Stormy Daniels, vowed this week to dance under oath in front of Congress, in the event that President Donald Trump is impeached. Daniels says she will “testify” in front of members of the governing body the only way she knows how.

“I would be happy to use the language of the interpretative dance that some call ‘stripping’ to tell what I know about the president, if it comes to that,” Stormy said. Daniels’ former lawyer Michael Avenatti has offered to hold the pole during any performance before legislators.

She told The Mirror, “If Donald Trump has done things he shouldn’t have during his campaign, he should be impeached. If he’s broken the law, he should be arrested and treated like anyone else not involved in covering up for Hillary Clinton.”

“Raise your right boob and repeat after me…Your other right. Do you promise to tell the truth…”

“If I couldn’t arouse a bunch of old congressmen and women, how could I look my daughter in the eye?” Stormy asked. “No, my version of events between me and Donald must be told through the seductive art of stripping under oath. It’s the only way the country can move forward.”

Finally, Daniels wondered, “Is there a dress code for ‘testifying’ before Congress, or can I wear my usual work clothes?”



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