Supreme Court Rules Chuck Schumer Is A Knuckle-Nuts Chode Monster For Threatening Justices

Justices

WASHINGTON – Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is an azzhole. That’s not news. In fact, it’s been common knowledge for decades. But now, the senator has gone too far. He’s now publicly threatening conservative justices on the Supreme Court if they restrict, in any way, his party’s ability to kill babies.

Schumer told a rabid crowd of pro-choice supporters that Justices Kavanaugh and Gorsuch would “pay the price” and “won’t know what hit you,” if they didn’t vote his way. That’s a threat, no matter what part of the country you’re from.

But the Supreme Court is not taking the threat lying down. Well, Justice Ginsburg was. She was napping. But in a quickly filed rebuke, the Court ruled in a 5-3 decision (remember, Ginsburg was napping) declaring that “Chuck Schumer is a knuckle-nuts chode monster.”

Found this image next to definition of “Chode Monster”

Chief Justice John Roberts said later, “We know criticism comes with the job. But when you have a douche canoe like the senator inciting a crowd outside our workplace, well, that’s dangerous. Personally, I wanted to use language stronger than chode monster, but something more profane might not have passed.”

Roberts added, “Justice Clarence Thomas put in the ‘knuckle-nuts’ part, which I thought was a nice touch.”

The ruling puts Schumer on notice that his comments are unacceptable. There is even a suggestion that the Senate may censure Schumer for his incendiary remarks, but no other punishment is expected since he’s a Democrat.

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