Biden Announces His New Gangsta Name Is ’16 Cents,’ Psaki Confirms

16 cents

WASHINGTON – Joe Biden revealed to America this weekend that his new gangsta name is ’16 Cents.’ The president claimed the new nickname was a nod to the massive savings he had procured for the American family. Earlier, Biden had announced that, thanks to him, Americans would save $0.16 off the cost of a BBQ dinner this 4th of July vs. last summer (a Trump year). Instead of celebrating the 4th this year, however, most families were huddled around kitchen tables trying to figure out how best to spend their…

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How the Socialist Grinch Almost Stole the 4th of July

socialist grinch

JUST OUTSIDE AMERICAVILLE – The Socialist Grinch was a bitter, ungrateful member of Grinch Lives Matter, who lived next to Mount Trumpit and overlooked the states of Americaville. Each 4th of July, he seethed inside as Americaville celebrated her freedom and independence. Citizens of Americaville celebrated with fireworks, parades, baseball, beer, cookouts, and friends. It was a happy occasion each year, but he couldn’t understand what was so great about Americaville that was worth celebrating. You see, the Socialist Grinch was a product of the university system, where he had…

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Chris Christie’s Magic Baseball Cap Sunscreen No Longer Secret

Chris Christie

JERSEY SHORE – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has had one of his beauty secrets exposed. On a 4th of July weekend, while the state’s beaches were closed to the public due to a state government slowdown, Christie was photographed on the beach, wearing a magic baseball cap that apparently deflects all harmful rays from the sun. And it works for the entire body which, in Christie’s case, is no small feat! The governor finally explained how his “sunscreen cap” works after he was caught in a lie, saying he…

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