Yearbook: Ralph Northam Voted Most Likely To Resign In Disgrace

VIRGINIA – Although he’s denying it at the moment, the clock is ticking down to when the state’s governor will have to resign. Ralph Northam (Dem/Socialist – VA), is embroiled in a race/abortion controversy, going back to his med-school days in 1984. The governor first made headlines for saying babies could be aborted after birth. If they aren’t allowed to abort them, Ralph says they should at least be able to paint the newborns’ faces with blackface, then shove the babies back into the mother. You know, out of sight…

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Planned Parenthood Seethes Over Trump Birthright EO Hurting Business

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NEW YORK – At Planned Parenthood (PP) headquarters, employees are furious over President Trump’s plans to affect their future business. Trump is considering ending the birthright citizenship provision of the 14th amendment in our Constitution. The move is an attempt to stop the practice of giving babies born to non-citizens (illegals) legal citizenship, even though their parents are not Americans. The amendment was written at the time to award citizenship to slaves. “Noooooo!!!!!!!” cried baby dismemberment expert, Bianca Lennox. “I’ve been aborting babies here for years. And killing babies of…

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Michelle Wolf’s Netflix Show Aborted in First Trimester

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NETFLIX – The so-called ‘comedian’ and professional Trump basher, Michelle Wolf, had her new show aborted after just three months on the streaming service. Wolf, a huge supporter of abortion, can’t be too unhappy with the termination of the unwanted show in its first trimester. “I should be really bummed,” Wolf said, “But it’s their network, their choice. I was hoping they would give the show a full nine-month run, and then maybe if they didn’t want it at that time, like, some other network could adopt it? You know,…

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Cecile Richards Plans to Abort Planned Parenthood From Herself

WASHINGTON – Deciding her position as president of Planned Parenthood has become an inconvenience to her, baby butcher Cecile Richards has decided to abort the organization in a ceremony in front of her fellow PP employees. Richards will have a scaled-down replica of a Planned Parenthood clinic shoved up her vagina, after which a PP abortion doctor will use forceps to crush the model of the clinic and extract the structure piece by piece through Richard’s nether region. The procedure will be televised to all PP clinics around the country…

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March For Life Leaves Media Appalled at Lack of Looting, Arrests

WASHINGTON – The mainstream media complex is disgusted and appalled by the public display of civility, respect, and good manners shown at this week’s March For Life rally held this week. So far, there have been no arrests made of any of the well-behaved protesters. NBC’s Chuck Todd reported last night, “There has been no violence, profanity, or looting by any of these protesters at the March For Life! They call that a rally? What the hell’s wrong with these people. They’re behaving like a bunch of lunatic Nazis!!” According…

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