Now Facebook Caught Performing Colonoscopies on Users Without Permission

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MENLO PARK – Social media giant Facebook has now been busted for performing colonoscopies and other invasive procedures on unsuspecting users, usually while they sleep or have passed out drunk. The platform has taken heat recently for abusing privacy laws as it tries to learn every detail of each user’s life. A whistleblower has come forward to reveal that Facebook has now crossed the line by going inside unaware users’ bodies, in an attempt to learn even more about each person’s existence. This has forced the founder to release a…

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Hollywood Asks: Let’s Make This Easier, Who HASN’T Been Sexually Assaulted?

HOLLYWOOD – Overwhelmed by the daily revelations of more victims speaking out about their experiences at the hands of sexual predators in the cesspool that is Hollywood, the community is now collectively asking, “Let’s make this easier…..who hasn’t been sexually assaulted in Hollywood?” Several high-level talent scouts and producers gathered together and seem to agree that releasing the names of those who have not been the victims of sexual harassment or rape would bore the public and be better for the entertainment capitol’s public image. One music producer said, “You…

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