Satan Confirms Human Remains Found In Florida Were Murderer Brian Laundrie’s

Brian Laundrie's

HELL – In an exclusive interview with CNN’s Jim Acosta, Satan himself confirmed that human remains found this week in a Florida swamp are what used to be murderer Brian Laundrie’s earthly body. The Devil said he’d just gotten off the phone with the FBI. Acosta: So, Mr. Satan, you know for sure those bones were Brian Laundrie’s remains? Shouldn’t we wait for more tests to confirm this? Satan: Oh yeah, it’s him. I keep pretty close tabs on my people. Those are the bones I let him use while…

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Reporters Shout ‘President Brandon? President Brandon?!’ As He Turns Back On Questions

President Brandon

WASHINGTON – No matter the topic, the American president doesn’t care about your questions. After every speech, he tucks his tail, turns his back on reporters, and leaves the room. The prez has failed at everything he touches, except at being a coward. There, he excels. Since stupid reporters believe chants at sporting events of “F*** Joe Biden!” are really chants of “Let’s Go, Brandon!” they’ll keep the lie going. So, after his most recent speech following a devastating jobs report, reporters continued the lie. As Biden said ‘thank you’…

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