Andrew Cuomo: Don’t Want To Live In World Where Random Groping Is Not Appreciated

NEW YORK – Governor Andrew Cuomo has had enough. Enough with having to try to live in a normal society. Enough with chicks not understanding how wonderful he is. And enough of women not appreciating his random groping. So, he’s quitting as governor. He told his subjects: “I love my state. I love the people of New York. And by love, I mean I want to have sex with them. But if this is now going to be a world where random groping is frowned upon…that’s a society I don’t…

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CNN’s Chris Cuomo Insists He Doesn’t Have Any Brothers

Cuomo brothers

NEW YORK – CNN anchor Chris “Fredo” Cuomo has become tangled in scandal. The cocky TV host has been tied to brother Andrew Cuomo’s sex scandal. However, in typical CNN spin fashion, Chris now claims that he’s never had any brothers. Talking to the only ‘brother’ he claims to be close to, anchor Don Lemon, Cuomo said, “Don, you know me. We go way back. I’ve always had your back, no matter how bizarre or racist your takes have always been, haven’t I?” “Yes you have, brother,” Lemon responded. “People…

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Andrew Cuomo Sorry All Women Don’t Realize He’s God’s Gift To Them

NEW YORK – Governor Andrew Cuomo is very sorry he’s having to defend himself. He’s sorry that random groping, kissing and touching are frowned upon in today’s society. But he’s sorry most of all that all women don’t realize that he’s God’s gift to them. In a very. Slow and. Monotone voice, he defended himself against sexual abuse allegations made by 11 women who’ve worked for him. Reading from a prepared statement, Cuomo said, “I don’t understand….how these women…don’t get what a big deal…I am. Being groped, fondled, or kissed…

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Gov. Cuomo Asking Public For Ideas On New Excuses He Can Use

Andrew Cuomo

NEW YORK – New York Governor Andrew Cuomo doesn’t think he’s ever to blame for any of his bad governance. Typical leftist elite. But nursing home deaths, hiding damaging data, and multiple sexual harassment charges are piling up, making it harder for the guv to ignore. So far, Cuomo has blamed Trump, federal guidelines, lying women, and Trump again for his repeated failures. He’s starting to run out of excuses. Now, the governor is asking for the public’s help in coming up with new excuses he can use to save…

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