Hillary Hangs With Her Homies, Pimps, Bitches, Jay-Z and Beyonce

CLEVELAND – Proving she’s the hippest grandma ever to seek the presidency, Hillary Clinton held a campaign rally where she hung out with her very close homies, Jay-Z and Beyonce. After pumping up the crowd with a barrage of f-bombs and n-words from the music superstars, Hillary addressed the supporters in her usual, screeching manner: “Oh, thank you, thank you! I have so enjoyed having Usher and Bounce here to entertain us all tonight (strange looks from Jay-Z and Beyonce). I’ve been a big fan of rap music since I…

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Presidential Debate Postponed As Nation Mourns Beyoncé’s Bloody Ear

LAS VEGAS – The third and final presidential debate has been postponed for one week due to the tragedy that befell Michelle Obama’s daughter’s role model, Beyoncé, over the weekend. In a horrific accident the singer suffered while performing, an earring came out, causing her ear to bleed – onstage! A big supporter of Hillary Clinton, Beyoncé “powered through” the pain to complete her performance, before seeking medical attention backstage. Her fans immediately took to Twitter to post pictures of themselves bleeding from self-inflicted wounds, in support of their queen.…

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