Black Lives Matter: “Most Racist Super Bowl Ever”

HOUSTON – Ever the ones to see race in every aspect of life, members of Black Lives Matter charged that this year’s Super Bowl was the most racist NFL championship game ever. They’re disgusted by the loss the Falcons suffered, and here’s why. Deray McKesson, a spokesperson for the group, said, “First of all, Tom Brady, and his team in white, beat the guys wearing black (helmets). That’s bad enough right there. The Patriots also know good and well that Atlanta has a high population of black brothers and sisters.…

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Inauguration Disrupters Vow to Win Every Staring Contest to Protest Trump


WASHINGTON – Just days ahead of Donald Trump’s inauguration, many anti-Trump activist groups are making threats about how they plan to protest and disrupt this weekend’s ceremonies. Many protesters know they may face arrest, bodily injury, or worse. But they don’t care. One of the most lethal tactics the protesters plan to employ is the staring contest. Thousands of members of activist organizations from Black Lives Matter to Planned Parenthood say they plan to launch a barrage of staring contests against police and other security personnel. Pookie Brown Jr., a…

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Black Lives Matter Vandalism, Kaepernick Having No Effect on Black Shootings

WASHINGTON – According to a groundbreaking new study released today by the government agency assigned to handling statistics on crime in America, vandalism by members of the Black Lives Matter movement, along with the NFL’s Colin Kaeperdick’s kneeling during the national anthem movement, blacks continue to be killed at the same rate as before said protests. Louie Papale, spokesman for the Department of Meaningless Protests (DoMP), seemed surprised by the findings. “It was not what we expected at all. You would think that an athlete refusing to stand, or even…

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Hillary Clinton to Kneel During National Anthem Before Debate

NEW YORK – To continue her pandering to the Black Lives Matter crowd, Hillary Clinton has decided to kneel during the singing of the national anthem, performed just prior to the big presidential debate with Donald Trump. The move is a risky one, since Clinton is not sure she will be able to get to her feet once she kneels, and would therefore have to do the entire debate from a kneeling, sitting, or laying position. But the risk is worth it if it brings her more votes. “I feel…

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Racial Forecasters Say Milwaukee Overdue for “The Big One”


MILWAUKEE – Noted racial forecasters were disturbed, but not surprised, by the latest incidents of violence in this Midwestern city. After a police officer shot and killed an armed black man who refused to drop his gun after being asked repeatedly, looters took to the streets to burn cars and businesses, and threatening to kill white people. Although the police officer in this case was black, facts were inconvenient truths for the rioters. All they needed was an excuse to let off steam and space to destroy. City officials say…

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