General Assembly Adopts ‘Virginia Is For Shoe Polish Lovers’ Slogan

virginia

RICHMOND – In the wake of an ongoing blackface controversy involving its state leaders, Virginia’s General Assembly updated the state’s slogan today. “Virginia Is For Lovers,” the state’s well known tagline, has been updated to “Virginia Is For Shoe Polish Lovers.” With news coming out that Governor Ralph Northam and Attorney General Mark Herring both sported blackface in their college days, the governing body felt the update was justified. The news explains why Virginia has lead the country in shoe polish sales for decades. Minority leader Eileen Filler-Corn stated, “Hey,…

Read More

Yearbook: Ralph Northam Voted Most Likely To Resign In Disgrace

VIRGINIA – Although he’s denying it at the moment, the clock is ticking down to when the state’s governor will have to resign. Ralph Northam (Dem/Socialist – VA), is embroiled in a race/abortion controversy, going back to his med-school days in 1984. The governor first made headlines for saying babies could be aborted after birth. If they aren’t allowed to abort them, Ralph says they should at least be able to paint the newborns’ faces with blackface, then shove the babies back into the mother. You know, out of sight…

Read More