Chris Christie Pulls Hammy, Out Of Running For Trump Chief Of Staff

Christie

WASHINGTON – “I don’t run. If I’d known there was going to be running involved, I would’ve ended this speculation much sooner,” former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said. He was responding to news today that he was being considered for President Trump’s next Chief of Staff. Christie’s people released a statement saying he was “taking himself out of the running for the Chief of Staff position.” The disgraced governor doesn’t do anything that involves running. “I think that’s pretty apparent,” he told reporters. “I can stroll, like I did…

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Chief of Staff Gen Kelly’s First Words to Trump: ‘Drop and Give Me 50’

WASHINGTON – On the first day at his new job, incoming White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly greeted President Trump in the Oval Office with a handshake. Then he ordered the president to drop and give him 50 push-ups. “Count ’em out, soldier!” Kelly ordered. “Your mama ain’t here anymore. I’m going to whip this White House staff into a lean, mean political machine – or die tryin’.” The president was caught off guard but managed to grind out 12 push-ups before falling to the floor to catch…

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