Chris Christie Refuses To Rule Out Running/Losing Again In 2024

NEW JERSEY – Former Gov. Chris Christie left the double-wide French doors open to running for president again in 2024. He said he wouldn’t rule out running, and losing again, even against President Trump. “President Trump is a meanie. He hurt my feelers. So now, I come out against everything he does,” Christie told reporters. If Donald does decide to run in 2024, I’ll be there to suck a bunch of the air out of the room.” The former governor explained that because he sucks, it just makes sense for…

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Chris Christie Pulls Hammy, Out Of Running For Trump Chief Of Staff

Christie

WASHINGTON – “I don’t run. If I’d known there was going to be running involved, I would’ve ended this speculation much sooner,” former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said. He was responding to news today that he was being considered for President Trump’s next Chief of Staff. Christie’s people released a statement saying he was “taking himself out of the running for the Chief of Staff position.” The disgraced governor doesn’t do anything that involves running. “I think that’s pretty apparent,” he told reporters. “I can stroll, like I did…

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Chris Christie’s Magic Baseball Cap Sunscreen No Longer Secret

Chris Christie

JERSEY SHORE – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has had one of his beauty secrets exposed. On a 4th of July weekend, while the state’s beaches were closed to the public due to a state government slowdown, Christie was photographed on the beach, wearing a magic baseball cap that apparently deflects all harmful rays from the sun. And it works for the entire body which, in Christie’s case, is no small feat! The governor finally explained how his “sunscreen cap” works after he was caught in a lie, saying he…

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