Skip 2020 Debates? Biden Says He Hasn’t Skipped In Years Due To Mobility Issues

skipped debates

DELAWARE – Due to his questionable mental competence, Democrats are freaking out over the possibility of Joe Biden debating on a stage with President Trump. His supporters, including the media, are now urging Joe to skip all debates. Period. Biden says he can’t do that. “I haven’t skipped in years. It’s harder to skip when you get older. I wish my handlers would be more understanding about that. A few years ago, I could walk briskly, trying to make it look like I was jogging with Barack. But I don’t…

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Biden Camp Offer Max Headroom As Stand In For Joe During Debates

Max Headroom

DELAWARE – Aides to Joe Biden’s 2020 campaign are doing whatever they can to avoid his having to debate President Trump in person. Now, they’re offering up 80’s pop culture personality Max Headroom as an alternative. The suggestion comes after the Trump campaign declined televising all debates from Biden’s basement. Greg Schultz, his campaign manager, explained why Headroom might be a suitable “debate double” for Biden. “First, they look exactly alike,” Schultz said. “I believe many of our younger Democrats wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Also, Max is…

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Biden Vows To Make Word ‘Malarkey’ Popular Among Youth Again

DETROIT – In the second Democratic debate this week, 2020 hopeful Joe Biden vowed that one of his first duties as president would be to make the word ‘malarkey’ cool again with the nation’s young people. That’d be just swell. “The word has dropped out of favor, and that’s a shame,” Biden told CNN’s Don Lemon. “I think once kids see how hip I am, they’ll want to start copying me and my coolness. In case you can’t tell, kiddo, I’m really with it.” Biden told Lemon he envisions the…

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