Biden Heads Home To Head Off Taliban Takeover Of Delaware

Taliban takeover

WILMINGTON – President Joke Biden announced today that intelligence officials informed him Taliban fighters are overrunning the state of Delaware. Hearing the news, the president left DC for the state as soon as he finished briefing the country on the mess in Afghanistan. “Those who are saying I’m returning to Delaware for vacation don’t get the intel briefings I get,” Biden angrily told reporters. “I understand these are difficult times in Afghanistan. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow the Tollybon to take Dover! Let’s go, we’re burning…

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Joe Biden Tells Looter: If You Don’t Vote For Me, You Ain’t A Looter

DELAWARE – Presidential candidate Joe Biden had a “properly-distanced” heart-to-heart with a rioter in Wilmington on Sunday. To show he was down for the struggle, Biden took a knee during the convo. He listened intently as the man spoke of injustices and pain that he and many others are feeling right now. The unknown man’s son was nearby and witnessed the exchange. Looter: Hey, man, you look just like us with your mask on. You gonna loot some liquor stores with us later tonight? Biden: Not today, man. Maybe another…

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