Biden Exposes Dems As Chump-A-Phobes During Small Rally

chump

PENNSYLVANIA – Presidential candidate is spilling dirty little secrets about his party at his few public appearances. This weekend, he called Trump supporters ‘chumps.’ And he’s clearly worried about them. Speaking from the Great Pumpkin Patch to a small gathering of scarecrows, he said, “What do we as Democrats do to someone who doesn’t agree with our views? That’s right. We name-call. Because that’s all we’ve got. But it’s worked well for us so far! We shame them into surrendering to our position. I love how we just add ‘phobe’…

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Twitter Fact Check: Joe Biden Was Never Vice President

TWITTERVERSE – Democrat Joe Biden is in a heap of trouble these days. The presidential candidate and his son Hunter have been accused of some pretty bad behavior. It seems Hapless Joe has been accused of using the Biden name to enrich his own family for decades. The damning evidence on a “laptop from Hell,” as Joe calls it, could hurt Democrats’ chances of winning the White House in a couple of weeks. Fortunately for the Biden’s, the arbiters of truth in our society, Twitter and Facebook, have Joe’s back.…

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Biden On Excessive Force: Cops Could Be Trained To ‘Just Kick ‘Em In The ‘Nads’

excessive force

DELEWARE – Democrat Joe Biden made headlines this week for stating that cops need to be retrained to eliminate the use of excessive force. It’s part of his “kinder, gentler reimagining of the police.” And based on testimony from Tara Reade, Biden is an expert on excessive force. The presidential candidate said recently that cops shouldn’t shoot to kill when dealing with a criminal. He suggested police shoot a suspect in the leg instead – if they’re black. If they’re white, police are free to shoot wherever. “I don’t know…

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Trump Eats Bowl Of Covid, Chugs Gallon Of Liberal Tears Just Before Discharge

liberal tears

WALTER REED – Just before being discharged, President Trump requested one last hospital meal before heading back to the White House. The president is being discharged following a successful treatment for Covid-19. Trump requested ‘a heaping bowl of coronavirus and a gallon of liberal’s tears.’ The president said he’d gotten quite an appetite during his stay and that Walter Reed Hospital has excellent chefs. According to his chief-of-staff Mark Meadows, “The president scarfed down the entire bowl of the virus. He washed it down by chugging the entire gallon of…

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What’s Wrong With Him? Biden Won’t Stop Calling Lids

DELAWARE – On the eve of the first 2020 presidential debate, rumors keep swirling around Joe Biden’s mental state. The main concern for many is that the Democrat nominee won’t stop calling Lids – the cap store located in many shopping malls. He’s called them almost half the days in September alone. Usually, Biden calls Lids early in the morning. Speaking to CNN’s Jake Tapper over the weekend, Dr. Jill Biden tried to downplay her husband’s behavior. “Look, Jake, Joe loves hats. Simple as that. And when he sees one…

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Dems: Barrett Can Win Our Votes By Performing Just 1 Abortion During Hearings

Barrett

WASHINGTON – Forget about Amy Coney Barrett’s Catholicism. Senate Democrats have a small favor to ask before they’ll give her their blessings as the newest Supreme Court Justice. Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) told reporters, “After talking with my Democratic colleagues, we all feel that if Judge Barrett will simply perform one abortion, during the confirmation hearings, we could give her our support. If she did that, I think we could overlook all the dogma that guides her. We could even get past her biggest sin – being a conservative.” Senator…

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GOP Will Need These Democrat Senators On Their Side To Replace RBG

RBG

WASHINGTON – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG) is dead and the battle is on for her replacement. Democrats want to wait until after the November election. Republicans don’t. Senator Mitt Romney (D-Utah) explained his dilemma on a possible RBG replacement vote before the election. “Hey, it doesn’t matter to me. I hate the president so much that I’d vote ‘NO’ whenever the vote takes place. And even though the future of our country hangs in the balance, don’t you think civility is more important? I can’t imagine angering…

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California Gov Touts ‘Apocalyptic Camping’ Industry: Fun For The Whole Family

CALIFORNIA – The Golden State is becoming known as The Stop, Drop & Roll State. So, as wildfires choke the West Coast with smoke, the governor is touting a new industry. Apocalyptic camping. Governor Gavin Newsom starred in a new ad campaign this week, encouraging tourism from those seeking a depressing, bleak, and unhealthy way to get away from it all. “Where else can you lay under orangy skies without dropping acid first?” Newsom mentioned some of the benefits of apocalyptic camping. “You don’t have to worry about wildlife. I…

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Hypocrisy: Media Silent When Kamala Called Fallen Vets ‘Jive Turkeys and Suckas’

suckas

WASHINGTON – Donald Trump is being crucified in the media for a story based on anonymous sources. According to a reporter at The Atlantic, the president referred to fallen soldiers as “losers and suckers.” Supporters in his administration have come forward denying he ever said such a thing. However, the guilty narrative exposes yet another double standard from the mainstream media. They feign outrage over Trump’s supposed remarks, but said nothing when Democrat Kamala Harris “reportedly” said basically the same thing years ago. As a DA in California during the…

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Nike Debuts ‘Molotov’ Shoe Line For Antifa/BLM In Portland

molotov

VENTURA PARK – ‘Just Burn It.’ It’s a tagline all rioters are familiar with. To honor them, Nike just unveiled their new line of shoes for Antifa and Black Lives Matters protesters. The Nike MolotovĀ®. “It’s a very exciting line for the company,” Nike spokesman Colin Kaepernick announced. “If you’re trying to tear down America, it’s important to have the right shoe as your foundation. I believe the Nike Molotov is a game-changer in the riot wear industry.” A Nike model showed off the new shoe on the 100th night…

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