DNA Test Confirms Baby Burisma Is Hunter Biden’s Love Child

ARKANSAS – Science has proven that Joe Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, is indeed the biological father of a baby born to an Arkansas woman. The baby was born out of wedlock. Hunter denied he was the baby daddy initially, but later agreed to a DNA test. “The first clue for us was that the baby was named Burisma,” the Arkansas mother’s attorney stated. “It’s not a very common name outside of Ukraine, you know. My client is seeking $83,000 a month, for doing nothing.” It’s unclear if the baby will…

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Scientists Isolate Impeachment Gene In Democrats For First Time

gene

AUSTIN – Geneticists working at the University of Texas have finally located the impeachment gene that is carried by all Democrats. The breakthrough findings may one day help lead to a cure for what makes impeachment-obsessed Democrats so bat-shit crazy. Dr. Greg Zinter, a researcher at UT’s BioScience Dpt., explained the significance of the new discovery. “We’ve wondered what causes Democrats to throw logic, common sense, and facts out the window when they get the urge to impeach. Now, we have a better idea. It’s not that they’re necessarily brain…

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Elizabeth Warren’s DNA Test Reveals She’s 82.6% Liar

dna

MASSACHUSETTS – Using the DNA test from genetic profiling company¬†23andMeCherokee,¬†Senator Elizabeth Warren released results that shed light on her ancestry. Warren has insisted she’s got Native American heritage in her bloodline. However, recently submitted DNA tests prove she likely has less Native American heritage than the average white woman in America today. Daniel Farraday, a geneticist with 23andMeCherokee, revealed, “The closest we could come to pinning down any real Indian connection to Mrs. Warren was that we believe her great-great-great-great grandfather may have met a Cherokee tribe member when the…

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