Poll: Democrats Rate Chants As Biggest Threat To Mankind

chants

NORTH CAROLINA – Following President Trump’s latest rally here, new polling of Democratic voters suggests that ‘chants’ are now the number one threat against every living creature on the planet. Chants of “Send her back!” by the rally crowd sent Socialist Democrats into all-out panic mode. The chant was referring to anti-American congresswoman Ilhan Omar’s past remarks, but the Party and media decided it was based instead on racial bias. According to a Gallup flash poll taken after the rally, ‘chants’ have surpassed climate chaos as the main issue that…

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CNN: Mueller Report Racist Because Redactions Made In Black

redactions

NEW YORK – Members of CNN’s news team were outraged today when the long-awaited Mueller Report was released, but with some redactions being colored black. Anchor Don Lemon and contributor Van Jones were the most triggered by the incident. “This is preposterous!” Van Jones firmly stated. “Attorney General Barr could have made redactions in any color. They DO have color printers at the Department of Justice, I’m sure. This was intentional. What we’re seeing in this report are ‘re-Black-tions,’ and it’s a slap in the face to all people of…

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Leftists Outraged Over Mob Label, Prefer Calling Activists Flash Mobs

ATLANTA – Media types, especially those at CNN, can’t bear to hear of Antifa-types being labeled as ‘mobs.’ Besides, just because a group of hateful people walks like a mob, and talks like a mob, doesn’t mean it’s a mob. Right? “I don’t like the ‘M’ word. I prefer to refer to them as flash mobs,” CNN’s Brooke Baldwin admitted. “They’re just a bunch of people who spontaneously decide to harass, attack, and fight Trump supporters. A true mob would be made up of a bunch of angry people suddenly…

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CNN Changing Name to ‘CNN Satire’ to Match Fake News Reputation

CNN

ATLANTA – Thanks to fake news pioneers Chris Cuomo, Brian Stelter, Don Lemon, Jake Tapper and others, CNN has decided to update it’s name to CNN SATIRE. The network believes the name change will better reflect the content of the product they’re pushing to the public these days. Network president Jeffrey Zucker said, “We here at CNN hate the term ‘fake news,’ especially when it is applied to us. So we feel that this way we can continue to crank out questionable material, combined with occasional facts, and when called…

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