Antifa Rioter With ‘AOC Eyes’ Arrested After Posing As MAGA Supporter

AOC eyes

UTAH – A Antifa/BLM thug was arrested this week for his part in the Capitol riots last week. John Sullivan, faces federal charges for being such a dick. The young anarchist posed as a journalist and MAGA supporter as he incited violence among the crowd. Sullivan popped up on a FBI watch list due to his ‘AOC eyes.’ The name is given for the look of “wide-eyed crazy” made popular by Congresshuman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. A doctor from the Mayo Clinic described AOC eyes like this. “AOC eyes is a condition…

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Adam Schiff’s Eyes Deemed Existential Threat To TV Viewers

ATLANTA – Researchers at the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) are warning those who attempt to watch the Senate impeachment trial. Beware, your sanity could be at risk. Scientists say Congressman Adam Schiff’s eyes are an existential threat to viewers. “We want to especially warn millennials, those susceptible to hypnosis, and other young Democrats,” Dr. Roy Stanton explained. “Mr. Schiff has already spoken for many hours in the opening days of the impeachment trial. Already, reports are coming in from across the country that liberal viewers are being…

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