Biden Misfires, Says There’s Nothing Scarier Than A Ghost With A Gun

ghost gun

WASHINGTON – President Biden announced yesterday his intention to crack down on “ghost guns.” Because, in his view, “There’s nothing scarier than a ghost with a gun, I’m being serious here. This is not hyperbole. You don’t want to mess around with those things.” Biden, who claims he’s been slimed by 3 separate ghosts, explained the problem with ghost guns is that they’re invisible. “Just like ghosts, man. That’s why they’re untraceable. It’s spooky, creepy stuff,” he said, whispering for effect. “Americans are understandably worried about the rise in crime…

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Biden: 2nd Amendment Had Limits From Day One, I Was There

amendment

WASHINGTON – Joe Biden declared in April that “no amendment is absolute.” Translation: There is no right that we Democrats may not try to take away from you. So today, Grandpa Joe gave the nation a history lesson during a crime and violence speech he recited. “The second amendment, from the day it was passed, limited the type of people who own a gun and what type of weapon you could own. I know, I was there,” Biden said. “You couldn’t buy a cannon. You couldn’t buy an AR-1776. Hell,…

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Joe Biden Signs Exec Order Barring Ghosts From Owning Guns

WASHINGTON – President Joe Biden today signed an executive order effectively banning any ghost from owning a gun. During his speech, he said there is an epidemic of gun violence, and laid the blame at the feet of the paranormal. “We can all agree that ghosts are scary,” the president announced. “And we can all agree that guns are scary. But the only thing scarier is a ghost with a gun. So today, I am signing an EO that will target the sales of ghost guns. My action will make…

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