Black Dresses Newest Defense Weapon Against Sexual Assault

dresses

LOS ANGELES – Following the success of Hollywood actresses at the Golden Globes Awards show last weekend putting an end to sexual harassment, self-defense experts are urging all women to wear black dresses whenever they leave the house as the latest way to ward off potential assaults. “If you’ll notice,” Consuela Jackson of Beverly Hills Jiu-Jitsu Club remarked, “There was not one single rape or sexual assault of any of the actresses who wore black dresses to The Globes the other night. I think that speaks volumes.” Most experts are…

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2017 Golden Globes ‘After’ Pity Party Was Off the Hook!

HOLLY-WOE-IS-ME – At the 2017 Golden Globes Awards show, Meryl Streep gave the performance of a lifetime when she played Debbie Downer to great acclaim from the downtrodden audience. Most sat terrified, frozen in fear over the reality of an inevitable Trump administration. But the real fun came at the Globes’ ‘after’ pity parties. After what nearly all of the celebrities thought would be the happiest GG ceremony of their make-believe lives, celebrating the coming four years of a Hillary presidency, the low energy continued well into the early morning…

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