ACQUITTED! 7 GOP Senators Given ‘Insurrection: Traitor Edition’ Board Game Instead

insurrection

WASHINGTON – President Trump has been acquitted of inciting the Jan. 6 riots on Capitol Hill. The sham impeachment trial is over. The waste of Americans’ time is over. But some politicians won’t be going home empty-handed. Seven Republican senators voted to convict Trump, along with every Democrat. At least these ‘Sappy 7’ GOP turncoats will be taking home the ‘Trump Insurrection: Traitor Edition‘ board game as a consolation prize. Senator Chuck Schumer said after the acquittal, “We want to thank these seven senators for playing. Obviously, we’re disappointed that…

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Nancy Pelosi Explains That GOP Tax Cuts Are Literal

cuts

WASHINGTON – House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi has been gnashing her teeth and frothing at the mouth non-stop lately over how hurtful the GOP’s tax cut plan will be for the country. She says the reason is that the cuts are literally physical cuts. “These tax cuts will cut a bitch,” Pelosi told reporters. “It’s the most dangerous legislation ever passed by Congress. Seriously, have you seen what’s in this monstrous thing?! You can’t cut taxes without cutting! There are knives, swords, box cutters and razor blades throughout this thing.…

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List of Top 10 ‘Most Body-Slam Worthy’ Members of Media Released

MONTANA – So a member of the Montana GOP roughed up a member of the press. A Montana think tank has released the latest list of what they call the “Top 10 Most Body-Slam Worthy” members of our mainstream media. Montanans are a rugged bunch and they can sense when a member of the arrogant media needs a good smack down. Here is their latest list of those media types who could use having a can of whoop-ass opened on them: 10. Juan Williams – Whiny Juan, what else can…

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GOP Names Obama’s Ego Honorary Republican

WASHINGTON – House Republicans will pass a resolution designating President Barack Obama’s ego as an “honorary Republican,” when they return to work after the holiday. The legislation is meant to be a hat tip to the president, on his way out of office, for being so completely tone-deaf because of his massive ego. So massive, in fact, that he did more to grow the Republican Party than the GOP could have ever done by themselves. “It’s the least we can do,” said Rep. Jim Jordan. “The guy has screwed up…

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